519-624-1001 Online & Phone counselling link below Offices in: Cambridge & Simcoe (Ontario, Canada) "Resources" link below contains many articles, books & links that may be of interest
|
|
Emotional & Relationship Boundaries
Below are a few books on healthy emotional and interpersonal boundaries that may be helpful as a supplement to counseling / counselling. These books will give you info on and understanding of some of the reasons for, problems with, and consequences of unhealthy psychological boundaries in relationships (marriage, family, children, parents, friendships, dating, boyfriends, etc.). They supply information related to defining boundary problems and how to tell if this is applicable to you and your relationships. Boundaries have to do with our personal ego identity being distinct and different from that of other people's. This is a good thing, not a bad thing. Problems with boundaries tend to happen when there is either enmeshment with or too rigid detachment from (the opposite extreme) others. This will involve such terms as dependency, codependency, needy, infatuation, transference, and caretaking. Marital and relationship codependents will be dependent on emotionally dancing with the personality tendencies of their partner, though often in exactly opposite ways (the flip side of the same coin) to how their partner does. When there is dependence or codependence with another, boundaries tend to get crossed and overstepped, be too permeable, and subject to too much influence. The extreme of this would be in abusive relationships. Overcoming these tendencies involves reorienting oneself, & establishing and setting limits in relationships. This will involve emotional growth, & some assertiveness and tough love.
For Christians it is important to see that scripture says we are to love our neighbour "as"
ourselves, not "instead" of ourselves. We can only care about others
to the extent that we care about ourselves (and our own hurts and
feelings). Becoming a doormat as a way of avoiding the difficulty of
working out our hurts and angers with others is not God's way. Jesus in
fact said to go to others who have an issue with us (Matt. 5:23-24), or
with whom we have an issue (Matt. 18:15-17), and work issues and offenses
out with the help of third, fourth and fifth parties if necessary.
God's
call to turn the other cheek is not the same as being a doormat. You only
need to look at how Jesus lived His life out to see that this is not so.
Jesus confronted others on many uncomfortable and unpopular issues and
expressed anger (He called some people hypocrites, snakes and vipers,
etc.).
Books 2. Safe People � John Townsend & Henry Cloud (boundaries with unsafe people) 3. Boundaries with Kids - John Townsend & Henry Cloud4. Boundaries in Dating - John Townsend & Henry Cloud 5. Boundaries in Marriage - John Townsend & Henry Cloud
Explanation of Amazon links & Shipping rates is further down this page
.com US$ Boundaries Boundaries Curriculum with Book(s) and Video
.co.uk GBP Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: Workbook Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: Leader's Guide Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: Participant's Guide Boundaries Curriculum with Book and Video Safe People: How to Avoid Relationships That Are Not Good for You Safe People: Unabridged audiobook / audio cassette
.com US$ Boundaries with Kids Boundaries with Kids Leader's Guide Boundaries with Kids Participant's Guide Boundaries with Kids Combination Pack Boundaries with Teens : When to Say Yes, How to Say No
.co.uk GBP Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, How to Say No Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: Workbook Boundaries with Kids: Leader's Guide Boundaries with Kids: Participant's Guide Boundaries with Kids: When To Say Yes, How to Say No audiocassette Boundaries with Kids: VHS, DVD, Leaders, Participants, book Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No audio CD
.com US$ Boundaries in Dating Boundaries in Dating Leader's Guide Boundaries in Dating Participant's Guide Boundaries in Dating audio download Boundaries in Dating Curriculum: Making Dating Work, Book(s) & Video
.co.uk GBP Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work: Workbook Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work: Leader's Guide Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work: Participant's Guide Boundaries in Dating Kit video, Leaders, Participants, book = VHS, DVD, Leaders, Participants, book .com US$ Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries in Marriage Workbook Boundaries in Marriage Leader's Guide Boundaries in Marriage Participant's Guide Boundaries in Marriage (Unabridged) audio download Boundaries in Marriage audio cassette Boundaries in Marriage Combination Pack
.co.uk GBP Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries in Marriage: Workbook Boundaries in Marriage: Leader's Guide Boundaries in Marriage: Participant's Guide Boundaries in Marriage: Unabridged audio cassette Boundaries in Marriage: 8-session VHS, DVD, Leader, Participant, book
Amazon book links (above) & Shipping rates 1. Clicking onto any of the links above will not commit you to buying anything. It will merely enable you to peruse & compare the different new & used prices for this book from the different Amazon sellers (called "Marketplace"). You will be able to click onto your "Back" button (upper left of your monitor) a few times to exit the Amazon site & get back to our website, without being committed to buying anything. 2. In order to purchase anything, you will need to click onto an additional "Add to Shopping Cart" button, then click onto "Proceed to checkout", & then give your credit card information. You can add as many books as you wish to your Amazon cart (even from different pages in our website), before finalizing your purchase by clicking the "Proceed to checkout" button & entering your credit card information. There is a "delete" button under each book you add to the "Shopping Cart" with which you can immediately or later delete it from your shopping cart if you wish. 3. Amazon has a secure encrypted (https) payment section of their web site so credit card purchases from them are safe. You pay Amazon alone & then Amazon pays their "Marketplace" sellers, so your credit card information goes only to Amazon, not to any of the "Marketplace" sellers. It's a good system. 4. Canadian $ (CDN$) links are in the pictured boxes above. United States $ (US$), & United Kingdom pounds (GBP) links to the same books are given as "text" links below the pictured boxes. 5. In the pictured boxes above, clicking onto the "Buy from ..." button will take you to the new price of this book when bought directly from Amazon. Clicking onto the "Best Price" link, above the "Buy from ..." button in the pictured box, will show you all of the varied new & used prices for this book from the different Amazon sellers (called "Marketplace"). Generally the "Best Price" link is the better way to go as it also includes a listing of Amazon's new price for the book (you will be able to find Amazon's new price listing by checking who the seller is for each listing). 6. Clicking onto the "title" link of the book in the pictured boxes above (above the "Best Price" link) will enable you to read a description of the book, & sometimes product reviews of it by different people. There will also be a "View product details" link at the top of the "Best Price" listings page, which will take you to the same description/product reviews page. 7. Amazon sets a fixed price for the shipping costs they or any listed "Marketplace" seller can charge, regardless where the listed seller is shipping the book from. Amazon itself however, charges a bit lower shipping rate than it requires it's "Marketplace" sellers to charge. More importantly, for the purchase of more than one book, Amazon charges a much lower shipping rate for each additional book, whereas "Marketplace" sellers charge their fixed shipping rate multiplied by the number of books you purchase. Amazon's multiple book discount in shipping can thereforesometimes outweigh the benefit of choosing the lowest "Marketplace" price. 8. Amazon also offers Free Super Saver "Domestic" shipping if you live in Canada for .ca purchases, live in the US for .com purchases, or live in the United Kingdom for .co.uk purchases, & if you buy directly from Amazon (not from the varied "Marketplace" sellers), & your total order's value is higher than $39.00 CDN, $25.00 US, or 15 GBP. This can often outweigh the benefit of choosing the lowest "Marketplace" price. 9. The Amazon shipping rates are : (1) .ca (CDN$) to Domestic, United States, Western Europe, Japan & SE Asia, Rest of World, Customs; (2) .com (US$) to Domestic, International, Customs; (3) .co.uk (GBP) to Domestic, Western Europe, North America, Japan, Rest of World, Customs. 10. The Amazon "Marketplace" shipping rates are : (1) .ca (CDN$) shipping rates, Customs; (2) .com (US$) shipping rates, Customs; (3) .co.uk (GBP) shipping rates, countries covered, Customs.
Context of o
Please feel free to book Online & Phone counseling appointments as an alternative to our Office appointments |